Dear Mrs. McVeigh,
I recently stayed with a friend, so in appreciation to her, I mailed her a thank you gift. I do not expect a formal thank you note for a thank you gift, but I did not hear anything from my friend at all. How do I know that she received my gift? I feel foolish calling her and asking her. That would seem like I am fishing for a compliment or a thank you, and that would take away from the idea behind the gift. What is the official etiquette on how to acknowledge a thank you gift, and how should I find out if she received it?
You are correct that a thank you note is not necessary for a thank you gift. However, etiquette says that you should acknowledge the gift, for the very reason you mentioned. Your friend should at least pick up the phone and call or text you and tell you she received your generous gift. Since she has not, I would contact the company that sent the gift out for you. They should be able to track the package. If you cannot get any information from that, then I would call her to thank her again, and hopefully she will mention receiving the gift. If you have to, just ask her about it. Tell her something such as you had an issue with the company, and you were feeling uncertain that it would get to her. Give her an explanation that won’t make her feel uncomfortable or embarrassed.