Don’t Let “Friends” Ignore You in Public

Dear Mrs. McVeigh,
I have a group of ladies who I go to lunch with for birthdays. I recently had a birthday, and we posted a picture on social media of the four of us at my birthday lunch. A friend saw it, and commented that she should have been included. (I do not think she understands that the four of us going to lunch for our birthdays is a long standing tradition.) This friend then organized another birthday lunch with the four of us, plus herself. The odd thing is this “friend” acts like she does not know me when we are in public, at the various events where we see each other. Now I wondering why I even agreed to a second birthday lunch because of this. How should I handle it?

Dear Anonymous,
That is disturbing and odd that this “friend” seemed hurt not to be included in your birthday lunch, but does not acknowledge your friendship in public. Reasons could be: she is speaking to people at these events who she rarely sees; or she may be working the room to secure donations for causes that she is involved in; or she is simply a social climber and knows she already has your friendship secured. Two ways that you can handle this. The first is to make a huge deal when you see her at an event – you can hug her, and then tell whoever she is talking to what a great friend she is, and how she even put together a birthday lunch for you. The other is to make a joke about it next time you get together privately. Say something such as, “Oh, since no one is around, I guess you can speak to me.” She then will obviously ask you what you mean, and you can lightly tell her that you notice she ignores you in public situations.  #Dallasmoms #ParkCitiesMoms #EliseMcVeigh'sLifeCamp #Mrs.McVeigh'sManners