Dear Mrs. McVeigh,
I have two very close friends, and the three of us do everything together. One of them told me something in confidence. When she said it was confidential, I did not think that applied to our other friend. She ended up confronting me after she found out the other friend knew her “secret,” and was really mad at me. I explained my reasoning, but she said that I should know that “in confidence” applies to everyone! Now she is not speaking to me. What should I do?
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
Whenever someone confronts you in anger, let them vent, yell, and rant, if that is what she needs to do. After she seems to be done speaking, apologize profusely before you explain the reason for your actions. People are much easier to forgive us, when they see how sorry we are. You will come off as defensive if you try to justify your actions before the apology is accepted, and it will just add fuel to her fire. Go back and apologize, and tell her it will not happen again. She may need a little time away from you, but if you are truly friends, she will come around.