Speaking Up is Better for a Long Term Relationship

            I don’t know if this is a confession or therapy, but I have an issue with speaking up when I am not satisfied when people are working for me. I don’t have a problem with telling restaurants or stores that their customer service is lacking. I don’t have an issue with family members or friends if they have done something that is bothering me. Why I am uncomfortable telling a contractor, housekeeper, beauty operator, or assistant that his/her work is not meeting my expectations, I am not sure. What the problem is that when you do not speak up and confront people, you will have issues long term.

Confronting people or voicing concerns with people’s poor performance on a job can lead to frustration on your part, and ill feelings towards the person you are dissatisfied with. What could be a simple conversation can lead to long-term resentment that you bottle up, and it turns into a very strained relationship. I have actually ruined several relationships with people because of my not speaking up sooner. The person on the other end had no idea why I had hostility, and the bad outcome could have been avoided.

I know I would want someone to tell me if I was doing a bad job, or not communicating effectively. Giving people feedback is helpful, and that is what we need to keep in mind. I find that females have a harder time with speaking up than males. Males seem to have a confident and authoritative way of getting their point across. I have been struggling for months in getting something done from someone we have hired to do work for us. As soon as my husband sent an email to the person – and his boss – it magically was completed in a record amount of time.

As I give advice on how to handle these types of situations, I vow to use this advice myself. I think I have convinced myself that I need to change. I hope I have convinced you too.