Dear Mrs. McVeigh,
I am thinking about giving some kind of “comment behavior card” to parents who invite my daughter over to their house. My daughter is a very intelligent 12-year old, but does not have a lot of social skills. I would like the parent(s) of her friend critique her behavior and manners while she is there. Have you ever seen anything like this before, and do you know where I can purchase some? Thank you.
I think it is great that you are trying to improve your daughter’s manners. I always tell parents that your child behaves a lot better when they are on their own, so your daughter is probably better behaved and mannered than you think. If you are still concerned, I think a simple conversation with the parent before the visit and then after would be an easy and fast way to get feedback. Explain to the parent(s) that your daughter struggles with social situations, and that you have been working hard with her on how to act around other people. Explain that you would appreciate honest feedback about how the visit went. If you are comfortable with other people helping your daughter with her social skills, let the parent(s) know that he/she should feel free to guide her in the right direction or correct anything that they see when she is at their house. I believe in the philosophy that it takes a village, and children often are faster to listen to other people who tell them the same thing that their parents are telling them.